Dear Temple Emanu-El Families,
I’ve been thinking this week about what it means to help a child feel safe.
Not just physically safe, but the kind of safety that allows a child to fall apart after a long day, make a mistake, or admit they’re afraid, knowing that the adults around them can hold all of it with them.
This week’s Torah portion, Noach, tells the familiar story of a world overwhelmed by a great flood and a family sheltered inside of an ark.
And I’ve been wondering, how can I build an ark for my family? For my child?
As the mother of a three-year-old, I’m reminded daily that sometimes the hardest part of parenting isn’t knowing what to do, but knowing when to simply be. When my son is overwhelmed, my instinct is often to help, explain, or fix it for him. I’m learning that sometimes what he needs most isn’t a solution. It’s just me sitting beside him.
Dr. Becky Kennedy calls this being a sturdy leader, an adult who can remain grounded and loving even when a child is struggling. An adult who can sit on the bench next to the child and hold the space with them. Dr. Dan Siegel’s work on emotional development reminds us that children learn to regulate their feelings through their relationships with caring adults. Before they can consistently find their own calm, they often need to borrow some of ours.
I find both ideas reassuring. Our children don’t need us to have all the answers. They need to know they don’t have to face difficult moments alone.
That’s my favorite lesson of Noach. We cannot always control the storms around us, but we can create places of safety and connection within them.
This week, I’m going to try to notice the moments when my son needs my presence more than my solutions. I invite you to join me.
Shabbat Shalom,
Jacey Mazalian
Principal, Lifelong Learning Religious School
